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Tag: the late show with stephen colbert

  • Do What On Trump’s Grave?!? Stephen Colbert Unearths Why He Assists in keeping Hydrated

    Trump so despised McCain that he resisted reducing the White Area flags in honor of the Republican senator from Arizona when he died in 2018. Trump did so handiest in brief, but if he confronted drive from personnel and the media, he had the flags diminished once more.

    Now, the brand new ebook The Divider by way of Peter Baker of The New York Instances and The New Yorker’s Susan Glasser gives extra perception into the incident, pronouncing then-chief of personnel John Kelly advised Trump what would occur if he didn’t decrease the flags.

    Trump caved and diminished the flags.

    Colbert confirmed the quote on his “Past due Display” display. When the digicam returned, he used to be preserving a gallon-sized jug of water and proceeded to take a large gulp.

    “Gotta keep hydrated,” Colbert stated when he used to be completed.

    See extra in his Thursday night time monologue:

  • Stephen Colbert Name callings Sen. Josh Hawley With Painful Reminder Of His Contemporary Previous

    The “Overdue Display” host famous that over the last week the Justice Division had issued about 40 new subpoenas to these with reference to the previous president concerning the Jan. 6 assault at the U.S. Capitol that used to be performed through Trump supporters. The subpoenas had been in particular geared toward getting knowledge on individuals of the legislative department who tried to “hinder, affect, hinder or lengthen” the certification of the 2020 election.

    “I’m advised we now have photos of Josh Hawley’s response when he heard the scoop,” Colbert stated, prior to rolling what’s now probably the most well-known photos of the senator from Missouri:

    “Run, Josh, run!” Colbert cracked.

    See extra about Hawley and any other infamous conspiracy theorist in Colbert’s Wednesday night time monologue:

  • Stephen Colbert Presentations Trump’s Trail Down ‘Nutball Treason Freeway’ In Damning Supercut

    Colbert famous that “Past due Display” audience have been forward of the sport.

    “It seems we predicted each insane legal step he took down nutball treason freeway,” Colbert mentioned earlier than sharing a “humble” reminder of the way he used to be proper about what Trump used to be plotting lengthy earlier than it came about:

  • Stephen Colbert Name callings Eric Trump For Lamest Protection Of His Father But

    As “The Overdue Display” host identified, one of the most paperwork discovered at Mar-a-Lago had been so delicate that even senior nationwide safety officers weren’t allowed to look them with out explicit permission.

    “The truth that he had them is totally indefensible,” Colbert stated. “So, the folks looking to protect him are as an alternative specializing in the proof image the FBI took of them at the carpet.”

    “I will be able to inform you, my father is an overly very neat man,” Eric Trump stated on Fox Information. “He doesn’t depart paperwork staged far and wide an place of job ground.”

    That led to Colbert to damage out his Eric Trump affect:

    “My dad does now not depart paperwork far and wide the ground, OK?” Colbert-as-Eric stated. “His crime is arranged!”

    See extra in his Wednesday night time monologue:

  • Stephen Colbert Spots The Kinkiest Phase Of Trump’s Newest Criminal Argument

    “Past due Display” host Stephen Colbert returned from his spoil and noticed the unusual a part of former President Donald Trump’s surprising felony victory.

    Trump’s crew went to court docket to take a look at to gradual the Justice Division’s investigation into the categorized paperwork that had been present in his Mar-a-Lago house and requested a pass judgement on to nominate a “particular grasp” to check the paperwork.

    “I gotta say: ‘particular grasp,’” Colbert stated, and simply take a look at his frame language:

    “In fact sounds kinda kinky,” Colbert stated, then deepened his voice: “You’re going to deal with me because the particular grasp, and you are going to post your movement to push aside no later than 3 p.m. Friday. Now beg for my gavel.”

    Colbert were given “kinda kinky” once more later within the phase when he blasted Trump defenders who claimed that one of the vital folders marked categorized had been in fact empty ― and insisted that supposed it was once no large deal.

    “How true,” Colbert mockingly agreed. “A lot in the similar method discovering condoms for your spouse’s handbag is frightening, however discovering empty condom wrappers for your spouse’s handbag is okay.”

    See extra in his Tuesday night time monologue:

  • Stephen Colbert Scoffs Fox Information Host’s ‘Very Silly Concept’ About Trump

    “You already know whilst you accuse anyone of planting proof earlier than they are saying that they even discovered the rest, it’s whilst you know they’re gonna to find one thing,” Colbert stated, then introduced an instance: “Officer, earlier than you breathalyze me, I will have to tell you I think that you’ve planted a 5th of tequila in my abdomen.”

    However Colbert stored a few of his most harsh phrases for Fox Information host Ainsley Earhardt, who he stated introduced a “very silly principle” when she implied one thing nefarious used to be hiding within the backpacks carried through FBI brokers.

    “What used to be in the ones backpacks?” she requested.

    “Excellent level, Ainsley! We all know you get to go looking the police officers earlier than they seek you,” Colbert stated. “That’s why I at all times inform TSA, ’Dangle on, mister. First, I’m gonna knuckle-bump your junk.’”

    See extra in his Thursday evening monologue:

  • Stephen Colbert Scoffs Alex Jones With An Epic ‘Dick Pic’ Reality-Test

    Stephen Colbert declared right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones “the worst human on this planet” for the “outrageous lies he advised in regards to the Sandy Hook tragedy.”

    Jones used his communicate display on Infowars to say the taking pictures used to be pretend, which resulted in the households of the sufferers being confused by way of his listeners. Remaining week, a jury ordered him to pay just about $50 million to the fogeys of a kid who used to be killed within the 2012 mass taking pictures at a Connecticut fundamental college.

    One key piece of proof towards Jones got here when his lawyers by chance became over his textual content messages to the lawyers for the fogeys. Jones later downplayed that to his listeners, pronouncing the textual content messages had been “no dick pics, no not anything.”

    “Oh, Alex,” he stated. “I urge to range: Each image of you is a dick pic.”

    See extra ― together with Colbert’s influence of Jones ― within the Monday night time monologue:

  • Stephen Colbert Spots Trump Acolyte’s Maximum Baffling Election Declare But

    Stephen Colbert noticed a in truth bizarre second in a speech given via Kari Lake, the conspiracy theorist and Republican candidate for governor in Arizona who used to be recommended via former President Donald Trump.

    Lake declared that there used to be fraud in Tuesday’s number one ― sooner than the vote used to be even held. Lake then claimed victory within the strangest method conceivable: She stated slightly any votes have been counted but she had gained seven out of each 10 election day votes.

    “This is huge! And the ones votes don’t seem to be counted but. There’s no trail to victory for my opponent, and we gained this race, duration,” she stated.

    “I’m sorry, what? What’s going down?” Colbert requested, then attempted to summarize: “She stated the votes had been slightly counted. Then she stated she used to be profitable seven out of 10. Then she stated the votes weren’t counted but. Then she stated she gained.”

    Then he confirmed how that good judgment may’ve performed out throughout the Tremendous Bowl in his Wednesday evening monologue:

  • Stephen Colbert Drops An F-Bomb On ‘Insane’ Republican Applicants

    Stephen Colbert mentioned Tuesday’s GOP number one effects weren’t in when he taped his display, but it surely was once protected to claim a winner simply the similar.

    “Some loopy motherfucker received,” the “Past due Display” host introduced as he proceeded to explain the state of the trendy Republican Celebration within the technology of former President Donald Trump.

    “Yikers! How terrible do it’s important to be at the present time to be reduce free by means of the Republicans?” Colbert requested. “That’s being informed you’re too insane for the Manson circle of relatives: ‘I hate to damage it to you, guy, Charlie thinks you’re making us glance dangerous.’”

    See extra in his Tuesday night time monologue:

  • Stephen Colbert Wrecks ‘Butthole’ Ted Cruz Over His Ugliest Turn-Flop But

    Stephen Colbert tore into Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) on Monday for converting his vote and blocking off passage of the PACT Act, which might’ve prolonged healthcare advantages for veterans who have been uncovered to toxins such because the burn pits in Iraq and Afghanistan.

    Or because the “Overdue Display” host described him: ”Texas senator, and butthole all dressed up for his prostate examination.”

    “I believe there are some veterans available in the market who would additionally love to bump Ted Cruz with their fists,” Colbert cracked.

    Cruz used to be amongst many Republicans who voted for the reputedly uncontroversial invoice in June when it handed the Senate 84-14. However then remaining week, he joined with 24 different Republicans who modified their votes and blocked the invoice.

    Critics mentioned it used to be a spite transfer finished out of disappointment with Democrats for achieving a deal to lift taxes at the rich and put money into each local weather and healthcare. Colbert referred to as it “baldly cynical” and “pointlessly malicious.”

    For the reason that GOP lawmakers flipped their votes, Colbert presented every other more or less turn in go back:

    See his complete takedown in his Monday night time monologue: